Come Monday- Jimmy Buffett

While Brian and I never had a special connection to this song when he was alive (aside from growing up listening to Jimmy Buffett with our Mom) it now has a very powerful effect on me and can bring me to big tears in mere seconds.

On Saturday, October 16th, 2010 we were headed from Red Wing up to Brooklyn Park to clean out Brian’s condo…  only 3 days after I’d learned of his death.  In the car with me was my Mom, my Dad and Brian’s good friend Chad… he had graciously offered to help us out.  It was only an hour drive but it felt like it was taking forever… but on the other hand I was grateful for that as I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to get there.  We had no idea what we would encounter there– after all, the last people to have been there were the police and the coroner.  We didn’t know if Brian had already packed his things up (we half expected that), if there would be any visible signs of the decomposition or, honestly, what his home would smell like as he’d been found a week after his death.  I was absolutely terrified of what we would see, smell and feel.

Chad was working hard to keep us all distracted and decided to play DJ for a while.  He plugged in his phone and started picking songs for each of us.  I don’t actually recall what song was picked for me, but he played a John Hiatt song for Dad and for Mom he chose “Come Monday” because she always loved Jimmy Buffett.  The song started and soon enough we were all singing along and fighting back the tears but yet smiling in the great moment we were sharing.

To this day, heading this song brings me right back to that moment in the car and I find myself crying pretty quickly.

Tonight I will be going with my good friend Marcy to see Jimmy Buffett in concert thanks to her sister, Tamara, who has given us all tickets.  I’ve never seen him live and can’t wait!  While the concert is sure to be an absolute party I know there will be a 4 minute period at some point in the concert, when “Come Monday” is played, that I won’t be able to help but be transported back to that day in 2010.  Like then, I’m sure I’ll shed a few tears but will also be smiling at how even on that day, just for a few minutes, we were smiling.

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I lost my brother Brian, my only sibling, to suicide on October 13, 2010. I write about dealing with the loss as well as my own life-long struggle with depression and suicidal ideation.