Throwback Thursday! June 18, 2015


Duuuuuude.  This picture brings me pure joy.

I can’t recall when this picture was taken but I remember what was going on here.  Bisky, our cat, had killed a bird in the yard and Dad figured if he killed it, it would be his responsibility to eat it– so he threw it into Bisky’s food dish.  For whatever reason, either you or I grabbed a camera and caught him in action being the “vicious predator” he was.

For years this photo had been missing… then I miraculously found it not long before Christmas in 1994.  I knew you’d get an absolute kick out of it, so I found a little frame for it and decorated it with puffy paint and wrapped it up to give to you on Christmas Eve.  I know, super classy!!

I remember Dad buzzing around with the camcorder every Christmas, recording all of the action.  When I handed my little gift to you, I told Dad to make for absolute certain that he had the camera fixed on you when you opened it and to keep the camera on you to get your reaction.

Words cannot describe the absolute joy I felt as you opened it; you looked at it for a moment and upon realizing what it was you were looking at you busted out into the most wonderful Brian-like belly laughs I’d ever heard.  And it continued for about the next 20 minutes.  I absolutely ADORED making you laugh.

When we were cleaning out your condo after you died, we found the picture, still in the little frame in which I gave it to you.  It made me SO happy to see that you had saved it all of these years!  I took it back and now have it sitting in front of me on my desk at work.

I’ve searched everywhere for that VHS video and I’m pretty certain it was taped over so I think it’s very likely I’ll never see it again.  But I replay that moment over in my head each and every time I look at this picture and I can still hear your infectious laugh.  Anyone that knew you will know exactly what laugh I’m talking about… and it was wonderful.



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I lost my brother Brian, my only sibling, to suicide on October 13, 2010. I write about dealing with the loss as well as my own life-long struggle with depression and suicidal ideation.